This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 14; the fourteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
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This man needs a fuckin’ psychiatrist.
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The problem with having a big house is, you can’t know where the sound is coming from. That’s the reason I was still wondering where Tina’s voice came from.
_________________________________________________________________________
Two hours passed away and the clock kept clicking. She started snoring slightly. Deep sleep. Never to wake up again. I slowly woke up and rolled towards her side. She was sleeping with her head turned towards the other side and the pink negligee looked inviting. Pink plus red. Dark brown. Perfect. She always wanted a tan. I slowly chose my spot, two inches below her heart. Two inches below her vile, infect ridden breasts. She’s a goner now. I lifted my knife up and the door blasted open and the lights turned on.
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Note: The image is a real photo of a woman being executed in an Electric chair back in 1927.
Return
“Doctor, do you think I’ll be cured?”
“You will be cured Mr…”
“Edmond”
“But I think we’ve to operate your lower jaw and remove it or the necrosis will spread to the throat and…”
“I’ll die, right?”
“I would say so”
“It’s okay Doctor, I’m used to this”
“What?”
“The pain, I’m used to it. Just that I can’t taste those wonderful things I’ve tasted before. How’s the steak cooking Doctor?”
“Uh? Steak?”
“Yes, you’ve mentioned that your wife would me cooking steak today. How do you like your steak to be cooked, Doctor?”
“I guess I love it rare, very rare actually”
“Mmmm… Bloody as Hell isn’t it Doctor? You’ve got taste.”
This man Edmond, I’ve never met a stranger person before in my life. His eyes had the spark of rising flames but that’s it. He was referred to me by the local church father, who called me up and said “Even God doesn’t show mercy on some. And for them there are doctors”. I must tell you that it was a great one liner, but upon seeing this Mr. Edmond, I felt like God, I didn’t want to show him mercy. His face and the upper torso were in a sorry state. If given the freedom I would’ve called him the “walking dead” but the medical dictionary already had a pitiful name for it, necrosis. He had a wide gaping hole on his left cheek and from it one could see the prominently invisible left jaw. There was just one big hole on the left side of his face, with dead, rotting tissue, which was so black that upon seeing that man I immediately knew that even after separating his head from the torso he’d be a dead man. And if those porno purists could get a hold of this Mr. Edmond, fellatio would’ve had a totally different meaning. Ef-flatio, maybe. But I was surprised by the clarity of his speech and the way he held himself together. I asked him to sit down and tell me what happened.
“Some other time Doctor”
“But at least you’d have to tell me what the problem is”
He pointed his finger towards the hole and said “That and…” He removed his shirt to reveal badly charred skin with legions of raw muscle beneath it.
“I want you to give me a medicine for the pain now. I’ll come again Doctor”
Funny man.
“You’ve got the guns ready Tim?”
“Yeah man, these little beasts are up and running”
“Pass me one”
“Here, take Weisner, this’ll be your chick for the night, the cocky bastard”
“You sawed the barrel off? Why did you do that for?”
“Maximum hit range mate, it’ll work fine”
“Wha…?. “
“C’mon man, take it easy, a gun is a gun. Everybody, ready for a demo?”
“Yeah! Except that Bob’s complaining that his pants are too tight”
“Are they? Ask him to cut off his little wiener, that’ll loosen him up a bit”
“Doctor, there is one Mr. Edmond waiting for you at the reception, should I send him in?”
“Does he have an appointment?”
“No, but he has one scheduled for tomorrow and he insists that it’s very important for him to meet you today”
“Send him in”
He walked in with a grim smirk on his face, and his dead tissue looked deadlier than ever, with a small yellow jaw bone jutting out from the side.
“Please, take a seat”
“Evening doctor. How are you today?”
“I think I must be asking you that question today”
“But I asked you first didn’t I doctor? Tell me. How are you today?”
I’d have ignored if it was any other patient but there was this eerie quality possessed by the Edmond guy that made me talk.
“I’m fine, what brings you here today?”
“Are you married doctor?”
“What’s it got to do with you?”
“I’m just asking doctor, I’m the walking dead anyway, am I not?”
How did he know that?
“Wel… Keep up the confi…”
“Answer to my question doctor, are you married?”
“Yes, I am”
“For how long?”
“Three years”
“That’s enough doctor. Coming back to me. I’ve a problem with my muscles down on my thigh. They’re just coming out of the skin. Do you it’s all right?”
For the first time in my professional career I felt like puking. There was something seriously terrible about this man.
“Mr. Edmond, you should tell me what happened to you”
“Doctor, it’s only when the sun rises the darkness vanishes, when the time comes you’ll get to know everything.”
“What?”
“Believe me doctor, give me a few pills and I’ll lead you away from the darkness”
“I’m home!”
“Tina, I’m home!”
“Tina!..”
“Your dinner is in the oven, I’m a bit busy right now.”
“Can’t you even come down?”
“I can’t. I have a client on the phone. I’ve to be back”
Shit. I come all the way from work, tired like a tramp and my wife wouldn’t even come down to greet me. What’s life for?
“Okay. Take your time”
______________________________________________________________________
“Mr. Edmond is here”
“Send him in”
“Good evening doctor”
“Mr. Edmond, how are you feeling today?”
“I’m feeling fine doctor. By the way do you love your wife?”
“What? Look Mr. Edmond you are trying to be personal with me. You must understand a doctor cannot be personal with his pa…”
“You are human aren’t you, doctor. That gives you the privilege to talk to me”
“Look here Mr. Edmond, I’ve got to refer you to a psychiatrist”
“Do you know about the Bitch Factor doctor?”
“What?”
“Who commits a sin”
“A sinner”
“Who is a sinner?”
“Ummm…”
“A sinner is a human, doctor. Animals don’t commit sin, do they? And who created humans?”
“God?”
“No. God just created two gatekeepers for his garden. But who created us doctor?”
“Our parents?”
“No. A woman created us. We’re sinners doctor and it all started because of a woman who couldn’t stop thinking of an apple. Men, doctor have different ways to express their anger. They drink, they indulge in fights, and they talk. Men share almost everything. You know what’s the most dangerous thing, doctor? It’s invisibility. Anything that’s invisible is dangerous. The unknown is the devil, and invisibility is the devil’s medium. Women don’t show their feelings. They hide them, doctor. They always try to subdue their emotions, doctor. You find them happy trying to hide their ageing skin and their lost charm. They hope their pimples and wrinkles are invisible. They do a paint job to blow you off, doc.
And Bitch Factor. It’s the probability of hitting a bitch and it increases exponentially with marriage doctor. Right now your wife might be sleeping with a ‘client’ and you might not even know. Women are infidels doc. And we men are the reapers of their sin. Women love to be attractive and they’ll do anything to be like that. If you want to sleep with your hot assistant it’s not your fault doc, it’s hers, they play femme fatale, they gobble you in, they ruin your family and they run away. Now, doctor. Do you trust your wife?”
“Y…yes”
“Do me a favor, go to 1813, Rivercross Street now.”
“What?”
“Do it doctor. You won’t regret it. And you've always asked me what happened to my cheek. The devil on my bet stabbed me doctor. She stabbed me with a spear, straight in my face. And she burned me with that battery acid, doc. And then she put me on fire. You might ask me why. It’s because I asked her why she was cheating on me. Women, doctor. Women. You just won’t know what’ll happen next. And if I were you, doctor. I’d be wielding the spear and split the fire. Because God’s have the power and devils have fear. And if were you, I’d use the fire escape”
“What?”
“Good luck doctor. I need to go now”
I went. For once I was pushed forward to doubt my wife. Who’s this guy Edmond anyway? I just had the feeling to stab him in his gut for asking me to doubt my wife. I went. I went 14 floors up the fuckin’ Riverdale building. 1813. Oak doors and enamel plaques. The apartment was solid. I had no way to go into the apartment. The door was closed and there were no windows. What the… Edmond. This guy Edmond, I’ll never let him step into my office again. Edmond. Wait. “And if were you, I’d use the fire escape”
I ran towards the fire escape and stood on the steel stairs. Three windows were connected together by a steel ramp which led to a fleet of stairs. Room 1813. It was five windows away. This meant that I had to jump three across feet in mid air, 14 floors from the ground. Why waste it? I thought. Why waste my life. But I could see Edmond grinning right before me, with his tongue coming out of his cheek. I closed my eyes and jumped.
_________________________________________________________________________
I put the knife inside my pajamas, the last place she’d probably see. You should see his dick. It’s a joke!.
“Tina, how was your day today?”
“It was okay. Had a lot of work today, I actually went up Riverdale to finish up a project.”
Yeah. Project use my and fuck your client. You should see his dick.
“How did it go?”
“Uhhh? It was good, look, I’m pretty tired today, let’s talk later”
Why not dump him then Tina? Oh! I can’t do that Henri. Who’ll get us the money then? Let’s play it his way, he’s so busy fuckin’ his dead patients that he won’t bother us. Let’s play fair now, we always have the insurance.
As a doctor I always have the choice to either give a life or to take. But no one will be there to question be about it, that’s the beauty of my profession. But for the first time, I’ll be questioned. Kill me? Use me? I’m not a garbage can, am I? I have feelings.
“Hon, switch of the lights will you?”
“Yeah, sure”
There was darkness. I didn’t want to look at her sick blood, but tonight I’ll bathe in it. I always had this habit of bathing in a hot shower before going to sleep. I’ll do the same tonight. In her blood, after she sleeps, forever. A small cut on her inferior phrenic right on her diaphragm, she’ll be spurting blood. She’ll pee and twist over, but she’ll spurt blood with such a force that’ll it’ll be spread in a 12 feet direction. And I’ll bathe in it.
_______________________________________________________________________
“What the fuck is going on?”
I was petrified. Four masked, gun wielding men dressed in black came right into my room just a few seconds before I was going to finish my wife. Police? But police don’t wear masks.
“Who..who are you?”
“Drop the knife down you sick bastard”
“Wha.. Jennie? Wha…”
“Shut up bitch.”
“Who are they Jen? An… what’s with the knife?”
“I said, shut up your fuckin mouth bitch and also you tough guy, you can kill your wife later”
“Mow Madame Tina, just tell me where the booking contracts for TEL are and we’ll leave you.”
“What?”
I could not bear this mockery anymore. I decided to kill her. She knew it anyway, what’s the big deal if I do it when she’s awake. I raised my knife and…
Bang.
200 small little lead pellets blasted from the Weisner 230 mm bore and cut their way through the barrel and the gunman shook a millimeter, which was enough for them to travel wide apart by four centimeters and hit, Tina. The wall behind her head got their share of grey matter for the day and they remained silent.
“What the fuck Henri! You killed the girl. Bloody cunt.”
“Hey mister, do you realize that you’ve just kille…”
Henri moved forward and shot again, and before the blink of an eye there was football sized hole in the middle of Jen’s chest. “Fucking basterds”
“Fucking basterds, Tim. Fuck you, son of an arsehole. You sawed the gun. You fucked $90 million dollars right before our own eyes. Why? Maximum hit range. I bet you filthy B grade New York cunt can get better than that. Hitting on gutter dicks whose…”
“How will I know that you don’t kno…”
“I don’t know how to shoot a gun heh? I shoot it like this. I cock it and…”
Bang. Bang. The entire room shook with the tremor.
Two men dropped dead on the ground, with their guns in opposite directions.
“What are we supposed to do Bob?”
“Run! What else!”
911 received a call from a frantic neighbor reporting gunshots and noises from his neighbouring house. Patrol car No.51 which was cruising in the neighborhood reported back from the upscale Bronx villa, after capturing an obese man who tried to jump off the window, but got struck because his pants were too tight and his partner who couldn’t get out because of him. The police alerted the forensics and took the two suspects to a police van and had them sent to the NYPD HQ. The van barely travelled a mile before which a speeding truck, smashed them from the behind and had the van in flames on Interstate 101. Newspaper reports indicated all the four occupants to be dead. The whereabouts of the truck were unknown.
_______________________________________________________________________
Edmond. Living in New York must’ve made them deaf. I’m Emond. For the thing my wife did to me a sixty years ago had to be avenged. When the sinners in Hell have repaid for their sins they’re allowed to become ghosts to commit sin again and get back to Hell. Martha. I wanted to see her decapitated. But she died just after I did and still didn’t repay for her crime. I came back, with vengeance but I couldn’t kill. A ghost cannot kill but it can drive a mortal to do the ultimate act. The church father, the wife, the husband, the thieves, the truck driver. Everyone. I’ve followed Martha’s bloodline and had her great granddaughter killed. I committed enough sin that’ll last for decades. For in Hell, there’s only 13 days time for the next set of punishments to begin, every ghost gets 13 days to avenge his past. And for each day he loses, he’ll lose a part of his body, reminding him of Hell. And on the thirteenth day, he’ll sprout wings and return back to the gates of Hell. I was a happy man. Errr… ghost.
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Nice use of the theme "Return"
Keep writing! :)
Dude, you gave me real goosebumps. Amazing piece of fiction.
You added a bit of suspense to your usual bit of dark writing.And that makes it more interesting to read!
Good one! Best of Luck.
tight pants :D
Wow ,This is delicious. Loved it. A slightly different approach in writing this time but it has added some more flavor to your writing. fantastic
Best for BAT
Wow! Dark and deliciously thrilling. All the best for BAT!
Gives goosebumps to anyone who reads it. Nice way to interpret the topic "return".
Grotesque (as usual) Pawan!! ;)
Made me squirm (which is a good thing where you are concerned...shows its a good tale)
All the Best for BAT - 14.
PS: You've got competition this time from Tikki....I think I squirmed a bit more there... :P
Dark as usual. In time you will be giving Stephen King a run for his money. This story was nice but I felt it left quite a few questions unanswered - how did the ghost influence the thief, how the ghost could appear as human, how the ghost was known to the father etc.
As usual Pawan.. Loved your take on the theme return.. Dark.. Very dark..
--Someone Is Special--
its beautiful... i read you stories after a long time and i wasnt displeased.... i just dint understand a lil here and there but its k... i loved the theme... and you've worked well on it... good luck for the compitition :)
take care and keep writing........
You're swell at fiction!
Cheerz...!
Now thats called exploiting fiction to the hilt(i hope its fiction!!) !
Suspense,raw emotion and an unrelenting ride of nerves-brilliant !
This was a splendidly woven tale. The intensity was stupendously good.
All the best for the BAT.
You are the best story teller man... great read!!
Okay!
First I gotto admit I started the story a coiple of days ago and got confused at a point and stopped.
Then I returned today (was always minful of the fact that I was to complete what I started). And today, I sort of got confused at the same part.. This is the scene following the '200 small little lead pellets blasted ....'. However, unlike last time, I completed the story this time... and then got a hang of it.
So you used revenge to explain return. Hmmm.. The story was good.. I liked the start with Edmond and all.. but not sure it was the best justice to the idea. I mean I liked the story - but have a sense of a 'missed opportunity' here.
But, I liked the overall take... and the uniqueness of idead you put forth. Thanks Pawan. Good luck for BAT.
And I personally think you should respond to comments left by visitors.
Ah! One more thing - how's the image related to the story?
@The Fool: The ghost didn't influence the thieves, it's just by coincidence they've decided to rob some important documents from Tina. Or maybe, there's this supernatural effect that compelled them to do so, both ways it leaves space for ambiguity which's my favorite plot tool :D
And coming to the next question, there's no rule that a ghost can come to the human form. As I've explained in the last paragraph, a person in hell is allowed to return back to his previous avatar to seek revenge or to commit more sin to stay back in hell (once in hell, a person is destined to stay there till eternity).
And the third, ambiguity, ambiguity and more ambiguity. Here's one for you. The ghost's name is Emond (not Edmond as revealed in the last) which's an anagram for Demon. Maybe this father was a satanic follower and hence directed his master to the doctor. This is best left for your imagination. :)
Glad you enjoyed the story!
@Kshitij: I don't know what confused you at that point, but I'll explain it to you.
A shot gun bullet has smaller pellets which burst from the shell when the trigger is pulled. This induces a very powerful recoil (hence, shot guns are generally are used for on the shoulder operations). In this case the assailant used the shot gun normally and because of the recoil the gun moved a bit and hence the lead pellets went off target and hit Tina. That's it. The assailant who shoots is Henri, the guy with who Tina's having an affair.
And well, R is for return and R is for revenge. I weaved two into one. Glad you liked the story and even more happy that you thought that it didn't gel well with the given topic (many people just don't tell it). And the picture? I've thought it to be the ghosts (Emond's) wife. :)
Aha! Okay.
Now I know this confusion is because of my lack of knowledge of guns and recoil thing. I often kept wondering what that spawn thing was... now I am getting it :)
Yes, I got that Henri Tina connection. Thanks Pawan.
Hey.. nooo.. you got me wrong. I didnt say that it didnt go with the topic. What I meant was given the introduction and initial setup with Edmond, I started expecting much much more. Maybe you dont get full points from me on the end :)
Good explanations. Nice to see you have actually thought over these things. But it did not show in the writing. It felt as if you had not thought about these things. So mI am not sure the amiguity was good. My opinion is that if a writer wants to leave something to reader's imagination, he should atleast ensure there are couple of plausible explanations possible based on information given in story. Else pusposeful amiguity will look like inconsistency or carelessless on the part of the author. (I have actually felt at times that even Stephen king writes a bit carelessly and lacks an artistic perfection) By the way, the anagram was a nice touch.
Too good, dude.
Your trademark rawness, the subtle twist in the end, that anagram, frequent shifts in the narrative voice - everything made for a pacy thriller. Job well done!
By the way, you've spelled it as Bast'e'rds. Inspired by Tarantino? ;)
@Karthik: Thanks man.
Well, I've decided to spell basterds that way ever since I've seen IB. Tarantino it is :D