“No!”, she screamed, filling the room with a callous echo, one which reminded of a lively death.
“Please, leave me. Please, I beg you, please!”, she pleaded for mercy, pleaded for freedom, freedom from the vast streams of pain, currently piercing her body like thousands of red hot silver knives. Her voice soon became over shadowed with intense pain, it was then she knew that she could never be normal again.
A few hours ago:
“I’ll be back soon sugar, I am sorry that I’m unable to stay back with you”.
“Papa, can’t you stay back for today? Just today please, it’s my birthday tomorrow if you forgot”.
“No sugar, I can’t stay back, it is important for me to go today, anyhow I’ll be back by midnight to give my angel a sweet surprise!”
Saying this the father left the house, unmindful of the dangers that would consume his daughter later that night.
The phone rang, blazing out some gibberish sounding electro punk sound out of it. She immediately grabbed the phone, it must be ‘him’ she thought and longingly she answered the phone.
“Hello, Is it you?”
There was no reply from the other side except for a chilling swishing sound, one of air at turbulent speeds hitting the mouth piece on the other end.
“Hello!’, she said again, but she received the same answer as before and,
The phone went dead.
Now:
There was a perpetual wave of darkness outside. The insects working in the night shift made a racket, which made the man standing behind the veils of darkness smirk evilly. There was a kind of acidic hunger deep down in his heart, hunger which he was going to satisfy soon. Set with the deep smile, he moved ahead, stealthily.
“It will all be over in an hour or two”, thought her father, “I’ll make tonight the best of her life, at least, I hope so”, and thinking that he entered his office, only to find it as deserted as a graveyard at its hallucination prime time. Midnight.
Puzzled, he reached for his phone.
It started as a small drop through the hole. The stainless steel shower head had the reflection of the girl covered in the pristine dress designed by God. The small drop went on to become a steady shower and little droplets of water oozed out of the tens of needle pricked holes. The lifeless shower was having the view of its lifetime, and the water tasted the elixir of the Girl’s beauty, both hot and untampered. The tiles had her slim image flashed on their shiny faces. Every little object in the bathroom had a spectacular view. She reached for the towel, the mean object which was going to distance the natural beauty of her slender body from the vile looks of the evil world outside. The inanimate objects agreed unanimously to privy the exotic display they just witnessed.
HE could see her silhouette from the point he was standing. The geometrical wonders of the infinity raised his testosterone levels. A surge of manly hunger pierced his veins; he lashed out his weapon, a small knife which shook under the tremendous force of sexual suppression. He slithered towards the house, which in a few more moments was going to witness an intense battle, the separation of yin and yang, physical death and a dark abyss.
(To be Continued..)




wow..this was really good pawan...especially the way u narrated it...awesome...waiting for continuation...
Terrific....it was spine chilling. Waiting for the next part.
Hey, I read it with bated breath!! Can't wait for the second part!!
SPINE CHILLING PAWAN!!!!
how could you write like this???!!!
the narrating styles and the apt words you used for that!!!
migh migh!!! it took my breathe away!!!
wonderful!!!
KEEP SMILING!!
I am so intrigued...Kudos Pawan...Very well narrated!
Very nice pawan.. too erotic description of d bath..rmindd me of sidney sheldon;) waiting 4 the nxt one:)
Awesome! Can't wait for the second part... !!!
JESUS! That was really good. Almost felt like I was reading a thriller script.
Be back soon with the continued part. Can't wait to read further!
Yaar Pawan, i am stunned by what i just read......
Eagerly waiting for the next part......
Cheers
@Shankar: Thank you man!. Hopefully the next part should be this sunday.
@ Shas: Welcome to my blog! Thanks for the comment and hope you come back again!
@Shilpa : Your excitement and enthusiasm is what that keeps me going!
@Shruti: Welcome to my blog. And moreover I am very happy as you visited my blog, and I have gone through yours which is pretty excellent!
About the technique and words, I owe the chilling factor David Bowie, the singer whose songs inspire me to write darker stuff!
Hope that you will be visiting over and over again!
Cheers!
When is the next post?Wanna know how it turns out...
@ Choco: Thanks! And do keep blogging, it has been a while since I have seen a proper post of yours!
@ Vipul: If I only had a good video camera then I would have shown my emotions and thoughts in a different way. I never read any of Sheldon's novels though, only because of one reason, erotic scenes :p
SO you can safely say, I was not inspired.
@ Roshmi: The second part will be out this Sunday!
Keep biting your nails till then!
@ Anamika: Welcome to my blog!
This is a thriller, so there goes the suspense :D
Do keep visiting, the second part will be out this Sunday!
@ Indian Pundit: Welcome to my blog man!
It's good to see you here. Please keep your cool till Sunday, that is when Part 2 comes!
@ Rambler: The next post will be unveiled this Sunday, it turns out in my usual style in an unusual way! :D
Wait and see!
hey pawan!
many are following you and when i saw your name in my followers list,i was spell bounded...
i always loved thrilling stories!!
I read many thrillers!!
am waiting for your next post!
Btw,plz visit my blog and giv me your valuable comments and methods to improve my styles of writing!!
i ll be honoured!
am followin u now
well written, I sense the plot here.. :)
would wait to see if there's a twist! :P
waiting for the 2nd one da.......
Buddy..this was simply terrific. I loved the narration..it actually ran down the chill in spine.
You know what..I envy you..wish I could write like this. :) :)
Cheers mate. Post the second part soon.
P.S Your comment section is highly secure. I cant post comment if I am not logged in wordpress. It would be great if you can remove this. Its a request.
Pawan! you are gifted with the art of writing. Can't wait for Part 2 :)
@Shruti: I have visited your blog and I will keep visiting over and over again! Thanks for following me, and yea, welcome to my blog :) And the next part is coming today!
Do check it out!
@Chiranjib: Do reveal your plot at the end of the series! Will love to hear what you think! :D
@ Anil: It's coming mate!
@ Thoughtworld: Thank you Amit! Well, glad that it made you shiver with fright!. Well, keep reading man, you can also write like this :P
About the comment section, I do not know what to do!
@ Others: Can you help me what to do?
Like everyone else has said, that was 'spine-chilling'...I've always loved thrillers and this one sure was a fantastic piece of work...:)
Waiting for the next part
I shall be following your blog :)
the lines 'acidic hunger' went straight above my head, cause i dint get the concept, but the words 'manly hunger were far more better, that explains a lot more than acidic hunger
i loved the final para part, but a lil confusing there, to be exact its the part where the girl is taking a bath, though this very part is greatly detailed i liked it a lot
now off to the second one and a small reminder pawan bhai, weekend is over but i dint find you on my blog, hope to see ya soon there, and still awaiting your mail
take care and keep writing......
good one ! thrilling.. keeps you pasted to the plot.. now off the next part...
now i m gettin it....u r a damn good writter man!! chalo now i will not fill air in u, lol. Lemme read wat happns nxt....
Hey...just came across ur blog...
Though i dont normally like writing tht emphasises a lot on descriptions...i loved the way u wrote the shower scene...especially the tiles, and shower head...
hope the writing style doesnt slow down the story though....